Articles & Resources

Why Intimate Relationships Are the #1 Cause of Relapse

We were created for relationship — first and foremost with our Heavenly Father. But in addiction, that divine connection is often severed. Substances become a false comfort, a counterfeit form of intimacy that numbs the pain of rejection, abandonment, and shame.

At Hope is Alive, we walk with men and women every day who are rebuilding their lives after the wreckage of addiction. And while relapse can have many causes — trauma, stress, isolation — one pattern stands out above the rest: intimate relationships.

More people relapse because of unhealthy romantic relationships than any other single factor. It’s not because love is bad. On the contrary, love is a gift from God. But outside of His timing, and without the foundation of emotional and spiritual maturity, intimate relationships often become dangerous distractions — pulling us away from the very healing we so desperately need.

As a former resident and now alumni with seven years of sobriety, I had to learn this the hard way. I had become addicted to sex and love from a young age prior to my substance abuse. The Hope is Alive curriculum and my mentor, Allyson Lang, helped guide me through this. Even though I wanted to seek out a relationship, I trusted those who were leading me at HIA, and I chose to wait to date.

Substituting People for the Presence of God

When someone enters recovery, their heart is still hungry for connection. It’s tempting to believe a romantic relationship will meet that need. But instead of healing, what often follows is emotional chaos — jealousy, insecurity, dependency, and heartbreak. For someone whose emotional stability is still fragile, these powerful emotions can quickly lead back to old coping mechanisms.

One of the greatest dangers in early recovery is replacing our need for God with our desire for people. We see it all the time — a resident starts to grow, begins to feel better, and then meets someone. Suddenly, their focus shifts. Time in God’s Word fades. Accountability becomes optional. Church is replaced with phone calls and coffee dates. Before long, they’re spiritually dry and emotionally reactive. Inevitably, the relationship struggles — and in the absence of the Lord’s strength, the person falls back into addiction.

The main problem that exists for me, and many others in addiction, is not knowing what love actually is. We chase the intoxicating idea of love, and while it feels good in the moment, just like substances, the high eventually wears off. Searching for happiness in someone else is really just a cover for insecurity.

The truth is, no human relationship can do what only God can. When we look to a boyfriend or girlfriend to heal our brokenness, fill our emptiness, or make us feel whole, we are asking them to be a savior. And that role is already filled by Jesus.

Building on Solid Ground

At Hope is Alive, we challenge our residents to wait — not because we want to control them, but because we want them to thrive. Waiting a year before entering a romantic relationship gives space for deep inner healing: reconnecting with God, discovering identity, developing emotional sobriety, and learning healthy boundaries.

Scripture tells us in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” That includes relationships. When you seek God first, He aligns everything else — including love — in His perfect timing. The wrong relationship at the wrong time can dismantle what God is trying to restore.

Just like my alcoholism, I am not cured of my sex and love addiction. It is something I continue to face every single day. I waited my first four years in sobriety to start dating. Because of that patience and hard work in my personal growth, God exceedingly and abundantly answered the desires of my heart. I married my best friend and love of my life, Joy, in June of 2023. We have been married for two years, and I am forever grateful to HIA and my leaders for the life I get to live today.

So, I urge you — don’t trade what’s eternal for what feels good today. Don’t rush the process. Trust that your Heavenly Father knows your heart, your desires, and your future. Until then, pursue the only relationship that will never let you down — the one with Jesus Christ. In Him is the love you’ve always been searching for.

—Grant Green, Director of Program Operations

Are You Responding or Reacting to Your Loved One’s Addiction?

Life can be unpredictable when you love someone who struggles with substance use.

You don’t know what to do — or what not to do.
You don’t know what to believe — or what not to believe.
You don’t know what to say — or what not to say.

It’s all hard. Hard when your loved one is actively using, and still hard when they’re sober. Deep down, you may live with the constant fear that doing the wrong thing could lead to relapse, jail, or even death.

At Finding Hope, we often talk about the difference between reacting and responding.

Reacting is quick and impulsive. It often comes from survival mode, with the unconscious mind running the show. At that moment, we may rely on old defense mechanisms or go on autopilot. It might feel like a solution, but in the long run, reacting rarely helps anyone — not your loved one, and not you.

Too often, we are slow to listen and quick to solve the problem — quick to yell, quick to shame, quick to defend. But what might happen if we were quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry? We sometimes forget that we can influence those around us, both negatively and positively.

Just last week, I woke up to a message on my phone that truly angered me. I wanted to yell back and defend myself. But I knew if I did, the conversation would go nowhere. So I practiced responding instead of reacting. I took a deep breath, prayed, and opened God’s Word.

Responding, on the other hand, is intentional. It means slowing down, weighing the situation carefully, and considering both the short-term and long-term impact. Responding helps you stay aligned with your values and maintain peace within yourself.

Sometimes, the healthiest response… is to do nothing at all.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel triggered or overwhelmed, try these three simple steps before reacting:

1. Stop, take a deep breath, and pray.
2. Call a trusted Finding Hope leader or group member.
3. Make sure you’re in a clear and healthy headspace before you respond — if you need to respond at all.

This week, take time to reflect. Write down situations where you reacted or felt unsure of how to respond. Pray through those moments. What might a healthier response look like next time?

Some examples might include:

• Your loved one frequently shows up late — or not at all — to family dinners.
• They relapse in their sober living home and ask to come back home.
• Other family members continue to enable, even though you’ve stopped.
• Your loved one drives away from your house under the influence.
• They call from jail, asking for bail and promising (for the third time) to get help if you do.

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“Stop fighting, and know that I am God, exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth.” Psalm 46:10 (CSB)

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

The Impact of Donors on Hope is Alive Residents

At Hope is Alive, recovery is about more than sobriety. It’s about restoration, faith, purpose, and community.

For many residents, Hope is Alive represents something they have been searching for years to find — hope.

Joshua, who spent over 20 years in and out of recovery, shared that Hope is Alive is “by far the best sober living house I’ve ever been in.”

‍What made the difference? People who genuinely care.

Because of donor support, residents are accomplishing milestones they once thought were out of reach:

• Gaining and maintaining steady employment
• Restoring relationships with family and children
• Getting driver’s licenses and vehicles back
• Returning to school and earning degrees
• Addressing mental health and underlying trauma
• Discovering identity and purpose in Christ

Amy, a resident from Kansas City, shared that she now has 16 months of sobriety, is a full-time student, a house manager, and has made the Dean’s List three times. She credits Hope is Alive — and the generosity behind it — for helping her get to where she is today.

Across the nation, hope in the fight against addiction is spreading. 

And while reading about it is powerful, hearing it directly from our residents themselves is something else entirely.

This is Hope is Alive. And this is what your support makes possible. Donate today.

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Coping Skills for Triggers, Stress, and Anxiety

Triggers — those moments that remind us of past trauma — can lead to stress, which then opens the door to anxiety and depression. If not addressed, these emotions can consume us. That’s why we’re focusing on healthy coping skills and inviting Jesus into our healing process.

Understanding Trauma: Trauma shows up in different ways:

• Physical trauma can include heartbreaking experiences like witnessing overdoses, calling the police on a loved one, or enduring violence.
• Emotional trauma might look like manipulation, emotional neglect, or the breakdown of healthy communication.

Identifying Your Triggers:

• Late-night phone calls
• A loved one not answering texts
• Requests for money
• Hearing of someone else’s relapse
• Mail from jails, courts, or collection agencies

What are some of your triggers? 

For me, one trigger is seeing my husband’s truck in the driveway before 5:00 p.m. After ten years of healing and learning, I’ve found that communicating my feelings with him — not with accusation, but with honesty — makes a big difference. Now, he sends a quick text if he’ll be home early. That simple act helps calm the anxious thoughts before they take over.

These triggers can often lead to stress and anxiety.

Coping Skills

• Brain Dump: Write down every worry or thought swirling in your mind.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release different muscle groups to release tension.
• Imagery: Picture a place of peace — maybe a beach with Jesus walking beside you.
• Mental Exercises: Recite Scripture, do a puzzle, or repeat calming truths out loud.
• Mindfulness: Notice your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
• Breathing techniques: Take deep, slow breaths to calm your body.
• Grounding: Use your senses to come back to the present moment.
  
  • Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
• Massage Your Hand: With attention and focus
• Physical Activity: Walk, dance, working out, or do a hobby.
• Zoom out: How will this feel six months from now?
• Serve: Do something for someone else.
• Distractions: Watch a movie, listen to music, laugh, play a game.
• Break from Social Media/News: Give your mind space to breathe.
• Pet (or Baby) Therapy: Spend time with a furry friend or little one.
• Journal: Put pen to paper to slow down your brain; write Jesus a letter.
• Finding Hope: Podcast, Bible plans on the YouVersion app, call your Hope Giver.
• Surround yourself with Jesus: The BEST thing you can do. Pray, read the Word, listen to worship music, etc. Remember, you have the Holy Spirit inside you!

What is one coping skill you can practice today and add to your tool belt?

*Remember,  if you are struggling with triggers, anxiety, or depression, it’s important to seek support from a professional counselor.

“Peace I leave with you: my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27 NIV

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Jasco Lights the Way to Addiction Recovery

What does a home electronics company have to do with sobriety?

Established as a family-owned and operated company in 1975, Jasco Products is now an industry leader in home electronics. After decades of growth, Jasco’s leadership felt convicted to start returning 50 percent of all net proceeds to charity, ministry, and philanthropy. Today, they give to Hope is Alive.

“Our leadership believed that Jasco is God’s company, and they want to utilize the resources and blessings God has given them to make a difference in the world,” said Jeff Cato, Jasco VP of Marketing & E-Commerce. “It’s all about multiplying the business and its impact in the community.”

Jasco formed a team tasked with finding community organizations and charities in alignment with their company values and mission.

“Our recovery home program helps people from day one. And one thing a lot of people don’t know is that 100% of our residents hear the Gospel while they’re in our homes,” said Ari Patchen, HIA Director of Community Development.

This spiritual emphasis resonated with Jasco, and the company entered a partnership with HIA in 2016.

“Jasco employees began to get involved with HIA at our events and our Sunday night meetings; we’ve even had some guys come to our resident Bible studies,” Ari said.

Jasco employees noticed the importance of community and the quality of HIA’s recovery program. At the same time, HIA staff began hosting outreach lunches at Jasco to help support those on their staff who might be struggling with addiction or know someone who is.

“We saw the fruit of this ministry immediately,” Jeff recalled. “We partner with ministries that we know are transforming people’s lives, and there’s no question that’s happening at HIA.”

Beyond Jasco’s irrationally generous donations, they have deliberately used their products to help the lives of HIA residents in recovery, all the way down to the exteriors of HIA houses.

Jasco recently launched a new permanent outdoor lighting product for the under-eaves of houses. Cato proposed the idea to donate and install these lights on HIA homes in Oklahoma City. It might seem like exterior lighting doesn’t have much to do with recovery, but it’s the small details that make a big impact on the journey to sobriety.

“It’s that old adage,” Jeff explained.“You want your house to be a home. This is just one more way we can make HIA homes even nicer. That’s how we make a difference.”

Ari, blown away by the intentionality from Jasco, said, “We put a lot of effort into creating a safe and secure setting for people to heal — anything to help ensure those homes are welcoming and warm.”

When purpose is prioritized over profit, incredible things happen. This collaboration is a powerful reminder that the result is brighter lives, inside and out.

“If you want to partner with an organization that’s a good steward, that’s radically changing lives, restoring families, and truly making a difference, then you don’t have to look any further than Hope is Alive,” Jeff said. “No question.”

Find out how your company can partner with HIA by contacting us today!

Understanding Codependency

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a response to addiction — but even more than that, it’s a response to trauma. It often shows up in relationships with loved ones struggling with substance use or other problems.

Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More, defines it this way: “Someone who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.”

What You Should Know About Codependency:

• Codependency feels shameful
• It’s an unhealthy focus on other people’s problems, feelings, and needs
• Codependents are often sensitive to criticism and tend to wall off their own feelings
• They rarely ask for what they need — and often give even when it hurts
• The good news? You can change your codependent patterns

Common Characteristics of Codependency:

• You get into relationships with addicts or people who have major issues
• You excessively help others at your own expense
• You neglect your own needs
• You struggle to ask for help
• You feel responsible for others' choices
• You often hide anger or disappointment to avoid conflict
• You give advice freely, but don’t say what you really mean
• You focus on perfection, not progress

Five Core Symptoms of Codependency:

1. Difficulty with Self-Esteem
You may think you’re worthless — or, swing the other way and believe you're better than others. Either extreme is unhealthy.

2. Difficulty Setting Functional Boundaries
Your boundaries may be unclear, nonexistent, or rigid and walled off.

3. Difficulty Owning Your Own Reality
You may not know who you are — what you think, how you feel, or what you want.

4. Difficulty Meeting Your Own Needs
You may:

• Wait for others to take care of you.
• Avoid asking for help.
• Be unaware of your own needs.
• Confuse wants with needs.

5. Difficulty with Moderation

Codependents often swing from one extreme to another — too involved or totally detached, overly happy or deeply miserable. To them, "just enough" never feels like enough.

Next week, we’ll explore practical ways to break free from the cycle of codependency. It may feel uncomfortable at times, but the freedom that follows is worth it. This week, take time to reflect and journal about where you're currently struggling with codependency and what might be holding you back from letting it go.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

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Hope is Alive Hosts 2025 Alumni and Staff Christmas Party

At Hope is Alive, community is everything. It’s not just something we talk about — it’s something we live out. So, for our 2025 Christmas party, staff, program alumni, and everyone’s families came together to celebrate as one big Hope is Alive family.  

There truly was something for everyone at our Christmas party, starting with a kids’ activity area that stayed busy all night. 

Children enjoyed a bounce house, ball pit, and a variety of ground games like Jumbo Jenga. Multiple activity stations were set up throughout the room, including a milk and hot chocolate bar, a decorate-your-own cookie station, and a coloring station that let kids get creative. The kids also got to watch The Polar Express and listen to Founder Lance Lang read a children’s book!

Meanwhile, adults gathered in a separate room that featured themed décor inspired by the iconic holiday movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Everyone embraced the theme of the night by wearing Christmas pajamas or Christmas sweaters. 

As the evening wore on, friendly competition naturally took over. Teams formed and faced off in a series of elimination-style games. One challenge involved blowing cotton balls off stacked cups before rebuilding them, while another had players using red Solo cups to scoop up as many marshmallows as possible. The crowd favorite, though, was a Christmas karaoke game where teams had to sing the next line of familiar holiday songs.

And of course, no Christmas party would be complete without good food to bring everyone together. Dinner featured a breakfast-for-dinner spread, including chicken and waffles — or pancakes — along with eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit.

As the night came to a close, everyone gathered to hear from Founder Lance Lang. He shared a few encouraging words, thanked everyone for being part of the Hope is Alive family, and reflected on how special it is to celebrate this season together.

Go in Peace: Hope for Advent

Advent can be a dark time. Go in Peace: Hope for Advent is an exploration of eight times in scripture when someone says the phrase "Go in peace," and what that means for your Advent journey.

Start the plan here: Go in Peace: Hope for Advent

Support for Loved Ones of Addicts and Alcoholics

“Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported.”‍

Read that again.

There’s so much truth in that one sentence.

As members of Finding Hope, others in the group need us to simply be there. We’re not here to fix each other’s situations — but to remind one another that we’re not alone. That we are cared for. That we are supported.

But don’t forget — you need support too.

You were never meant to carry everything on your own. 

Consider these questions:

• Who makes you laugh?
• Who encourages you?
• Who prays with you?
• Who supports you?
• Who listens to you?
• Who helps you?

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’ll have days when you feel completely down — and that’s okay.

Galatians 6:2 reminds us, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

So, what does that really mean?

“Paul is giving instructions to the Galatian Christians about how to live with each other as Spirit-powered people in Christ.

We carry other burdens, and sometimes we go through seasons where those burdens are too much for us to haul around. God's Spirit certainly gives us the power to deal with these issues, but another way God intends to provide for those in Christ is by giving us the ability to help each other. 

One way we can fail in this area is by refusing to allow anyone to see the burdens we are carrying. We can mistakenly think that being a Christian means we should be self-reliant in every way, all the time. In a few verses, Paul will write that we do need to carry the weight of our responsibilities in Christ. But Christians are also meant to help each other with the loads we carry when they become overwhelming. 

How does helping to carry each other's loads fulfill the law of Christ? Paul earlier quoted Jesus in saying that the entire law is fulfilled in one word: love (Galatians 5:14). “Love is the law of Christ.” (source: Bibref.com)

So today, if you need someone to listen, to pray, to laugh with you, or just sit beside you, reach out.

And if someone comes to mind who might need that same support, don’t ignore it. Reach out to them today.

Remember: You are not alone.

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

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Recovery is Possible: The Story of Danny Ellerd

“Every day, driving in Oklahoma City, you see those people on the street with their signs out. I remember the time when I pulled up, and it was my son that was there.” —Mark Ellerd, Danny Ellerd’s father

After 15 years in addiction, years of homelessness, multiple overdoses, and a moment when his family didn’t know if he would live through the night, Danny’s life changed forever when he walked through the doors of Hope is Alive.

With nothing but a Walmart sack of clothes, he arrived straight from the hospital — a place he landed only because he had been declared too sick for jail. When officers found him under an I-40 overpass, weighing just 92 pounds, they planned to book him on outstanding warrants. But after seeing the condition he was in, Danny was rushed to the ER, where doctors worked to save not only his life, but also his hand, ravaged by infection from IV heroin use.

“I wasn’t in control of myself. The drugs controlled me. I had become a completely hollow, empty person.” —Danny Ellerd

What happened next is nothing short of a miracle. Watch the video above to listen to Danny and Mark talk about the brutal reality of addiction — and the undeniable power of hope that transformed both of their lives.

Breaking Free From Labels & Finding Identity in Christ

We all carry labels — some others gave us, some we gave ourselves. Many of our labels come from pain, mistakes, or hard times that we wish we could forget or move past. But our labels do not define us. God has the power to take the very words that once wounded us and replace them with His truth. In this five-day reading plan, we’ll journey through stories of pain, healing, and hope. Together, we’ll learn to see ourselves through God’s eyes and release the false labels we’ve carried for far too long.

Start the plan here: Breaking Free From Labels & Finding Identity in Christ

Set Apart: How God’s Blessing Over Hope is Alive Makes Us Different

What does winning look like in addiction recovery? At Hope is Alive, success is measured in radically transformed lives.

Our philosophy reaches far beyond monthly or yearly sobriety milestones. Faith-based recovery programs are often met with skepticism, but HIA continuously produces real and significant outcomes.

Just like anyone and anywhere, those in HIA have their flaws, crises, and complaints. However, the default is grace, not condemnation.

Faith-Based and Christ-Centered

It all comes back to a simple — but not easy — piece of our Resident Culture Code: “Jesus is always the answer.”

Ally Lang, Hope is Alive co-founder and co-CEO, realizes not everyone is eager to open a Bible and start praying. However, that doesn’t change our foundation.

“We don’t force anything. We just tell them, ‘Hey, we’re going to talk about Jesus as the answer.’ And it’s funny what that does,” she said, referring to the transformations HIA has witnessed among people.

“I’ve seen God’s blessing on Hope is Alive through the individual miracles that have happened within our residents’ lives,” Ally said.

And while church attendance is mandatory for program residents, sitting in a pew isn’t the same as allowing the Holy Spirit to change and redeem you.

“It’s really tough to infuse God in secular things, but we have chosen to do that,” Ally said. “We believe the ultimate healer is Jesus, and that He is the answer to everything.”

No one in the program is required to be a Christian or prove their faith. And yet, to date, approximately 400 HIA residents have chosen to publicly display their new life in Christ through baptism.

“We’ve baptized so many people, and that is different from other recovery programs,” Ally said. “We’re not afraid to step into any mess or situation and say, ‘There’s a way out, and we’ll do it with you.’ We would never take faith out of our program.”

Not Wanting, But Still Doing

Even with God at the center of everything, HIA leadership knows firsthand the difficulty in kicking such a deeply ingrained habit. But not everyone understands addiction’s stronghold. Wives can’t comprehend why their husbands won’t stop drinking. Dads don’t believe their sons who say they can’t stop shooting heroin.

It’s often confusing and difficult to grasp the physiological components of addiction and how it rewires the brain and body.

HIA defines addiction as: “A biological, psychological, social, or spiritual disease that is, by nature, chronic, progressive, and fatal, ending in jails, institutions, death, or recovery.”

That definition narrows the line between “addict” and “everyone else.”

“People understand picking up work as a substitute for self-esteem,” Ally explained. “People understand their crutch on food as a barrier to having to actually feel their emotions. And if you can walk somebody through and help them understand, ‘Oh wait, I’m one step away from this myself,’ then they have more empathy for addicts.”

The apostle Paul speaks about the inescapable sin nature in every person: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15) Sin nature only furthers the destruction and entanglement of addiction.

Instead of acknowledging this inherent nature, many recovery programs focus on genetic components, generational cycles, or childhood trauma. HIA, on the other hand, encourages residents to dig deeper. Rather than shifting the blame onto others, residents assume responsibility for their own actions as they discover the reasons behind their coping mechanisms.

Beneath the Surface

Hope is Alive started with co-founder and co-CEO Lance Lang’s desire to live in a like-minded, sober community, but his wife, Ally, really got into the weeds and turned it into a structured system. It transitioned from men attending 12-step meetings and living together to prioritizing working “process addictions” and holistic life change.

Process addictions, also known as emotional addictions, include codependency, shopping, gambling, eating disorders, sex and love addiction, and more. HIA residents peel back layer after layer of memory and trauma, discovering the subconscious motivations behind their behaviors and thought processes. They’re then provided with tools to change their behaviors.

“We consider substance abuse just a qualifier to get someone in the door,” Ally said. “Substance abuse is really not the problem. When I came on board, I wrote our program, and the belief system changed to working through process addictions. That’s kind of what sets Hope is Alive apart.”

It wasn’t easy to convince people that recovery is about much more than sobriety.

“I had to fight tooth and nail,” Ally remembered. “All these addicts were like, ‘No way. It’s just stop using and stop drinking.’ But when we implemented working through process addictions, we started to see all the spiritual bondage on our people. We’ve evolved by watching and holistically treating our people in the ways they need it.

“We say, ‘Hey, there’s nothing wrong with you, so come be a part of our community of similar individuals who are moving in the direction you want to go.’ Along the way, let’s unpack anything that might stand in the way of long-term recovery. And most sober living homes don’t even have a program to compare it to.”

Holy Work: Inside the Program

So what does the program look like in practice? Made up of 65 objectives broken down into three phrases, the tasks and goals are far more than a checklist.

Phase One is about creating a foundation. Some men and women are newly sober, coming straight from rehab, while more than half (55%) are fresh out of jail or prison. HIA gives an opportunity to start a new life to individuals who often have no good place to go. Residents begin by working the well-known 12-step program with a sponsor and attending regular group meetings. The social aspect of peer support is one of the factors linked most closely to lifelong sobriety.

Residents are also expected to maintain a job and/or be enrolled full-time in school or vocational training. They pay an affordable monthly rent and rotate household chores. The spiritual facet of the program includes reading the Gospel and regularly attending a local church.

“They have an in-house buddy for the first couple of weeks who shows them, ‘This is how everything works,’” Ally said. “They take them under their wing and introduce them to a biblical community. That’s important, because they’re going to build lifelong relationships around recovery, whereas before they had lifelong relationships around using and drinking.”

In Phase Two, residents are equipped with the tools needed for a lifetime of sobriety by working through process addictions and learning healthy coping mechanisms. They gain financial independence by using tools like Financial Peace University and establish their own community through mentors and church family.

Finally, in Phase Three, participants focus on giving back through servant leadership. As they near graduation, residents will serve in their church and also lead their peers within the homes. Grant Green, HIA Senior Director of Programs, graduated from HIA in 2021, and he’s seen the value of ministering to others.

“As alcoholics and addicts, we’re very selfish and self-centered,” Grant said. “When we do just hang around a little bit, we start to see, ‘Oh, when I help someone out, that kind of feels good.’ Now, I’m more open to a spiritual experience with God when I’m not just thinking about Grant all the time.”

Most men and women live in HIA homes for an average of 18 months — significantly longer than most sober-living homes, with stays ranging from 30 to 90 days. The longer a person remains sober, the higher their rate of success.

Sobriety Standards

Along with the requirements of the program are guidelines that protect residents and define the culture of Hope is Alive. Some of these rules include not being in a romantic relationship for the first year of living in a house, as well as staying sober.

“Typically, the number one thing that causes relapse in both addicts and alcoholics is a relationship,” Ally said. “The willingness to not be in a relationship for the first year of sobriety is pivotal to being able to work on yourself and not just replacing it with another addiction.”

There are over 200 medications banned from HIA homes as well. Staff are considerate of mental health and other health conditions, but they are intentional about their philosophy.

“It’s pretty radical, but we consider sobriety to include no mind-altering substances,” Ally said. “That means any sort of medication that would potentially change the way you feel.”

Agreeing to these stipulations involves submitting to a new way of life, which is not often easy.

“For most people coming into the program, it’s daunting because we don’t like authority and we don’t like rules,” Grant explained. “Structure isn’t something most drug addicts and alcoholics are used to, but this thing works because it’s exactly what we need.”

But the program isn’t all work and no play. In fact, the Resident Culture Code includes a key ideal of HIA: “Fun is required.” From ski trips to prom nights, HIA leadership intentionally celebrates sobriety and encourages residents to be proud of their new lives.

“People consider sobriety a death sentence for fun,” Ally said. “And we say, ‘No, actually it can be better. You can do it with your friends, you can be healthy, and you can call your family to tell them about it afterward.’”

The Family Connection

Phone calls to mom and dad are encouraged because the HIA family is not limited to only those in recovery from substances. HIA also ministers to families through Finding Hope, a support group for loved ones of addicts and alcoholics.

“Most of the time, they’re working through the same things as the addicts they love, because process addictions are passed down as well,” Ally said. “For example, maybe we learned to be a people-pleaser from our parents.”

Finding Hope is open to any loved ones of addicts, not just to people who know an HIA resident. In fact, sometimes a family member getting support through Finding Hope motivates an addict to get help.

“There are so many times where a loved one will go to a Finding Hope class for years,” Ally said. “They get healthy, learn things, and get tools in their tool belt, and then their loved one will get sober. We always try to connect parents and loved ones to the support classes, which is really their own sober-living recovery program to work.”

Family members are also allowed to come to intake, when a resident first moves in and agrees to work the program. They’re welcome to bring meals and visit their loved one.

“The addict’s family is involved in the recovery process as much as they want to be,” Ally said.

The Best Is Yet To Come

Any HIA alumnus will tell you that graduating from the program was only the beginning. But they also know their best days are ahead of them. Today, alumni have jobs ranging from real estate to ministry to entrepreneur. Many have earned college degrees, some have begun work with other recovery organizations, and others have chosen to pour back into HIA by joining the team full time.

Monthly meetings, group chats, and an open invitation to HIA meetings and events keep them in touch, especially since they consider themselves family. It also gives them an opportunity to encourage those still in the program — because they’ve walked in their shoes. Some alumni have even married each other (after graduation, of course).

“I feel like I’m the chief wedding and baby shower host,” Ally joked. “And that’s just life now, because we do all the moments together.”

Those big and small moments together have added up into (almost) unbelievable transformations. Men put behind selfish tendencies and put their families first. Women become mothers they never thought they could be. Sons and daughters start to respect their parents, and years or even decades of broken relationships are mended. And Ally Lang recognizes the driving force causing this radical life change.

“We’ve put all of our weight behind whatever God has called us to do,” Ally said, “because without God’s hand of blessing, Hope is Alive doesn’t exist.”