Articles & Resources

Breaking the Stereotype of Addiction: The Story of Colby Haggard

“I wasn’t homeless. I wasn’t in trouble with the law. I was respected in business. I was active in church. But I was also addicted — and I didn’t even know it.”

When you picture an addict, you probably don’t picture someone like Colby Haggard. The stereotypical addict is someone whose life is visibly unraveling — someone who looks disheveled, acts irrationally, and struggles to hold down a job or maintain relationships. Colby Haggard, however? He didn’t fit the stereotype — and that’s exactly the problem.

Everyone around Colby saw him as a successful businessman with a strong religious foundation. This image was strengthened when Colby began working alongside Hope is Alive Ministries in 2021. Though not officially on staff, it was during this time that he formed a deep connection with Ari Patchen, HIA’s Director of Community Development, and even launched a community event called Legacy of Hope.

What no one realized — including Colby himself — was that he needed the very hope and healing he was working to offer others. For more than 25 years, Colby had been quietly battling addiction.

“I thought I was doing what everyone else did to relax,” he said. “In reality, addiction had been affecting my life since I was 16. I just didn’t see it.”

Colby’s world took a dramatic turn in July 2024 when his wife gave him an ultimatum: get help or lose your family. This was when God stepped in, lended Colby His hand, and guided him towards the right path. This spiritual experience is what pushed Colby to do something drastic: reach out for help even though he hadn’t yet accepted his addiction.

“I reached out to Ari on a Saturday. I was ashamed and couldn’t look him in the eye. But he said, ‘We got you. We’re going to take care of you. Do you want to go somewhere and get help?’”

Colby didn’t realize what getting help looked like, let alone that in 48 hours he would be receiving it. Before leaving for treatment, Colby made the hardest phone calls he has ever had to make. For the first time, he told people the truth. He admitted that he was struggling and that he was going to go away to get help. That honesty marked the beginning of a new life.

“Even though I didn’t go through a HIA home, their team was with me every step of the way. The Hope Line, the placement team, the calls even during treatment when I wasn’t always pleasant — HIA stayed with me the entire time. They cared for me like family. They cared for my wife too.”

When Colby returned home after treatment, he was welcomed with open arms. His wife stood beside him and his professional career shifted for the better. God opened doors he never foresaw coming, like being offered a job with HIA.

“I never imagined my life would look like this — working in recovery, leading in a nonprofit, helping others find freedom. But it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. God didn’t waste a single experience in my life. He used every lesson, failure, and success to prepare me for this.”

Addiction doesn’t always look like a mugshot. It can wear a suit. It can sit in a pew. If that’s you, there’s hope. Reach out to HIA today and see where placing your trust in God takes you.

Be Still: Learning to Wait While God Works

What do you do when everything falls apart around you? When life is full of turmoil and stormy seas? In this plan you'll explore Psalm 46 and learn how to Be Still and know that God is at work.

Start the plan here: Be Still: Learning to Wait While God Works

Hope is Alive Alumni Celebrate Another Year of Friendsgiving

Every fall, our alumni take a moment to pause during the holiday rush and come together for Friendsgiving. Unlike other HIA alumni events, Friendsgiving isn’t built around a program or a schedule. It’s meant to feel more like walking into a family gathering where alumni can relax, enjoy a good meal, and simply be present with the people who have walked alongside them in their recovery journey.

Friendsgiving has become a tradition in every market where we have an alumni group, and this year’s celebrations were full of laughter, gratitude, and a whole lot of good food.

Alumni Friendsgiving Gatherings

Oklahoma City saw the largest turnout, with more than 30 alumni from OKC and Weatherford filling HIA’s central office great room for a catered Thanksgiving meal. Though the main dishes were taken care of, in true family style, many alumni showed up with homemade desserts and sides.

Other markets kept the spirit alive in their own way. Tulsa and Claremore gathered at the home of a longtime supporter who loves hosting the group each year. Across North Carolina, both Greenville and the Crystal Coast had strong participation once again, each group meeting out for dinner. Kansas City, Wichita, and DFW followed a similar path, choosing local restaurants where alumni could gather around a long table, share a meal, and enjoy the chance to breathe during the busy holiday season.

While each market celebrated a little differently, one thing remained consistent: The culture alumni first experienced inside Hope is Alive’s recovery homes resurfaced. Alumni celebrated milestones, shared life updates, and encouraged one another. Stories from early recovery mixed with updates about new jobs, growing families, and personal victories. Even without a structured agenda, the heart of the program showed up around every table.

As newer graduates, like Devin Scarbrough, sat beside those who completed the program years ago (as far back as 2019!) Friendsgiving became a reminder of the lasting community that develops through Hope is Alive. No matter how far alumni have come or how busy life becomes, traditions like Friendsgiving make it clear that they’ll always have a place to come home to.

What Our Alumni Have to Say

“My favorite part about Friendsgiving was meeting all of the other alumni and hearing about their experience in the program and what their lives look like now. As the most recent graduate, this was my first alumni event, and it was truly a special experience getting to see all of the previous graduates that are staying connected to the program that saved their life, just like it did mine.” —Devin Scarbrough

“Friendsgiving was a great chance to reconnect with people I haven’t seen in a while. It was like a family gathering, and it was great to catch up with everyone and hear about what’s been going on in their lives.” —Grant Green

“It was great to see everyone and how they are doing today. I am thankful to be a part of HIA and how lives are still radically changed even out of the program.” —Robert Holsonbake

When Churches Open the Door to Recovery

In every church, there are people quietly carrying burdens — struggling with their marriages, facing broken homes, or fighting hidden battles with addiction. For many pastors, the question is not whether people in their congregation are struggling, but whether they have the right resources to truly help.

For Together Church, help came through a partnership with Hope is Alive.

Steven Caraway, a member of the church, had struggled with addiction since his thirties. At first, he thought he could manage it, but it ended up costing him his marriage, his job, and his hope. At one of his lowest points, Steven entered Hope is Alive, but he wasn’t fully ready to change. After three months, he left the program and soon found himself back in the same destructive cycle.

Months later, while sitting in a Sunday service at Together Church, Steven saw something that would alter his life forever. A man named Trevor, a graduate of Hope is Alive, stood before the congregation and shared his testimony. Steven couldn’t believe the transformation he was seeing.

“Sometimes you just need to see somebody who’s made it through, and that sparks something in you. For me, that was Trevor,” shared Steven.

With encouragement from his pastor and the church family at Together Church, Steven re-enrolled in Hope is Alive — this time fully committed to recovery. Thirteen months later, the change is undeniable. Today, Steven is sober, working as a warehouse manager, and most importantly, reunited with his wife.

“We are not the experts, but HIA gives us the training, tools, and opportunities we need to get into the game,” explained Brandon Werner, Senior Pastor at Together Church.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate — it touches every community and every church. But through partnerships like the one between Together Church and Hope is Alive, lives like Steven Caraway’s are being redeemed. Hope is alive.

The holidays can be filled with stress, expectations, and triggers—especially when addiction has impacted your family. In this episode, host Amy LaRue is joined by Shane Edwards, one of our incredible Finding Hope leaders from Kansas City, to talk about how we can move from simply surviving the holidays to truly thriving.

This episode covers:

• Managing expectations to reduce stress and disappointment
• Setting and respecting boundaries (even during the holidays!)
• Letting go of control and trusting God’s plan
• Finding support instead of isolating
• Choosing joy and creating new traditions

This holiday season, give yourself permission to slow down, breathe, and remember the true Hope this holiday season.

You are NOT alone. It's NOT your fault. There is HOPE!

For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Gratitude Through the Holidays

As we step into this Thanksgiving week, let’s remind ourselves to cultivate a spirit of gratitude. The holiday season often stirs a mix of emotions — moments of joy, but also fear, anxiousness, and even grief. Yet in those moments, we can lean on the truth found in 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

When we love someone struggling with substance use disorder, the holidays can be especially complicated. It’s easy to dwell on how the past holidays looked — whether they were filled with cherished memories or painful moments. It’s just as easy to fixate on how this year feels different, whether those changes are good or hard to process.

When our focus shifts to how we believe things should be, it often leaves us feeling fearful, anxious, or overwhelmed. Instead, let’s anchor ourselves in gratitude for what is. Every small blessing is an opportunity to pause, give thanks, and trust that God is present with us in this season.

So this week, I want to challenge you to intentionally walk in a spirit of gratitude.

Start your day by listing three things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as the sunrise, a warm home, or the people you love. Then, as your day ends, reflect on three ways the Lord blessed you throughout the day — big or small.

Pray with a heart of gratitude. Thank God not only for His blessings but also for His presence in the midst of challenges. Gratitude and trust go hand in hand, and when we thank Him in all circumstances, it deepens our faith.

Reflect on His faithfulness. Look back on the storms of life where He carried you through. Remembering His guidance in the past strengthens our hope for the present and future.

Gratitude is a choice, and as we practice it daily, it shifts our hearts and helps us see God’s goodness all around us — even in the hard moments. Let’s walk in His peace and power this week, trusting that He is with us every step of the way.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV

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With hope,

Darcie Stephens, Finding Hope Coordinator

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Counting Our Blessings: Thanksgiving at Hope is Alive

Every year, the Thanksgiving season invites residents, mentors, staff, and supporters to pause and reflect on the journeys happening within our homes. For many, this time of year once brought loneliness or painful memories. Today, it marks new beginnings.

Gratitude Rooted in Transformation

Residents at HIA aren’t just trying to stay sober — they’re rebuilding their lives.

Simple routines like Bible studies, house meetings, mentoring, and working help residents create stability again. And with that stability comes gratitude, often for things they once took for granted such as:

• Waking up sober
• Having a safe place to live
• Feeling supported by peers
• Earning a paycheck

A Community That Builds Gratitude

One of the biggest blessings in HIA homes is the sense of family. Residents live in structured, gender-specific homes surrounded by people who understand their journey. Alumni and mentors — who are in long-term recovery themselves — show what’s possible in sobriety and speak hope into the lives of newer residents.

That environment naturally leads to gratitude. You hear it in conversations around the dinner table, in house meetings, and even in simple moments when someone says, “I couldn’t do this without you.”

Thankful for Recovery

At HIA, gratitude isn’t reserved for just one day in November — it’s part of the recovery journey. It shows up:

• When a resident gets their first job
• When a family member comes to visit
• When someone celebrates another month clean
• When a housemate offers encouragement on a hard day

These are the blessings we count, and they’re the reason we have so much to be thankful for at Thanksgiving!

So, are you ready to hear what our residents are thankful for this year? They’ve taken time to reflect on the moments and milestones that have meant the most to them this year, and we can’t wait to share with you how far they’ve come!

“The thing I’m most grateful for this year is my incredible housemates. From the moment I moved in, I knew I had found a supportive group of friends who genuinely care for me and seek to follow Christ together. It’s a true blessing to share a home with brothers united in sobriety, accountability, and love for Jesus.” —Perry Long 

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“For Thanksgiving, I’m grateful that I have a sober support system. I’m thankful for a good family that still loves and cares about me — I have someone who is willing to invite me to Thanksgiving and hang out with their family. I’m also grateful that I’ve been clean and sober for over a month, and I’m grateful that God has moved in ways in my life to keep me alive and protect me.” —Joshua Fine

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“This year, I’m most thankful for Jesus Christ and the mercy, love, and forgiveness that He blesses me and my family with.” —Amy Wheeler

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“I’m thankful that I get to spend time with my children during this Thanksgiving season. We are blessed to have a place to go and eat a great meal.” —Nichole Rocha 

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“This year, I’m thankful for my sobriety! I’m thankful for the countless blessings and people that the Lord has brought into my life. I’m grateful to not be in jail for the holidays and to actually be able to realize it’s the holidays! I’m so grateful for the joy I have been able to experience and the love that surrounds me.” —Heather Kane 

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“This year, I’m thankful for my sobriety, my relationship with God, for the women in my home, and Hope is Alive.” —Christina Griffin

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“I’m grateful for how much I have grown this last year, both spiritually and personally. I’m also grateful for the people who have been put in my life to support me through my growth and remind me that I’m worth it.” —Amanda Gentry 

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“I’m thankful for the HIA program, community, sobriety, everyone that pours into us ladies, my Lord Jesus, my family, and the opportunities that I receive daily. I’m also thankful for peace, my future, second chances, life, the promises God has given me, friendship, my job, and the breath in my lungs.” —Kristen Dean 

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“I’m thankful for forgiveness and second chances, people who uplift and stay positive, and God’s unwavering love.” —Patty Burkett 

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“This year, I’m thankful for the new, free life God is allowing me to live! I’m becoming a better person by learning more about the love God has for me. I’m grateful for being able to come back to HIA! I’m so grateful to be a part of this life-changing program, and I’m excited to finally become who God created me to be!” —Janell Miller 

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“I’m thankful for the wonderful opportunity HIA has given me to change my life and discover my true self. I’ve met so many wonderful people that have been so kind and welcoming, and I’m so thankful for each and every one of them.” —Echo (Elisabeth) Goodspeed

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“I’m grateful for the restoration happening within my family. Through my commitment to sobriety, healing has begun to happen through the people I love most. My family is finding Jesus, getting sober, and reuniting with each other. Watching God work in our lives fills me with gratitude and purpose.” —Josh Hulsey

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“I’m thankful for the brothers I have here at HIA. I’m thankful God led me here to this house at this time! And I’m thankful for the family restoration I’ve had since I’ve been here!” —Deric Denton

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“I'm grateful for my God that always loves me no matter what, my house brothers for always keeping me accountable, and this community for always showing love to a bunch of guys.” —Freddy Galvan

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“I’m thankful for the HIA logo on my chest and the reward of reconciliation with my family. I’m thankful for my dad, my two brothers, and my mom.” —Brandon Wilson

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“I’m thankful to be able to say I'm a father again.” —Brandon Garner

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“I’m grateful for…

The birds in the air and the grass at my feet,

Reminders of God’s presence in every heartbeat.

The peace in my spirit that His grace restores,

And my nephews’ joy echoing through open doors.

For the journey He’s led me on, steady and far

His mercy my compass, His love my North Star.”

—Joshua Dial

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“I’m thankful for a new chance at life. I'm thankful for HIA — for giving me the chance to get back on my feet. I'm thankful for my new relationship with God. I’m thankful for having a good job and the ability to have a job. I'm thankful to have a relationship with my family and my children. I'm thankful to have a car, and that I got my driver's license back.” —Kevin Watson

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“This year, I’m most thankful for the preparation my God is putting into me, including leadership summits, boot camp, studying the Word, listening to podcasts, taking lessons, but most importantly, prayer and meditation. The purpose He has for my life will be good, all the way down to the bone.” —Natasha Caine

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“This year, I'm most thankful that my relationship with God has strengthened so much. I'm so proud that I have already changed to become an obedient disciple of Christ and that my family is so proud of me.” —Holly Biggs

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“I’m grateful for my life and everything that has happened in my life that has led me to where I am. I’m grateful for the family and the friends God has brought into my life.” —Nathanael Bassoum

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“I’m most thankful for this year and for the new life God has led me to live. I’m thankful for my change of heart, mind, and outlook on life. I’m also thankful for the reconnection I have with my family and loved ones. The last thing I’m thankful for is my newfound family in Hope is Alive.” —Chad Dunnings

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“I’m most thankful for my newfound relationship with Jesus Christ. Since coming into Hope is Alive, I have found a home church, begun praying, and joined a group of Christian men who are chasing after God.” —Eli Jennings

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“I’m grateful for being in Hope is Alive, the opportunities I have had since coming into the program, and the second chance at life.” —Dustin Sanders

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“I’m thankful for Hope is Alive accepting me into the program. Without them, I would not be sober. I have hope now!” —Lance Taylor

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“This year, I’m thankful for God restoring my heart, faith, and mind, and for the blessings of restored relationships and a fresh start at life.” —Brian Webb

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“I’m so grateful for where God has put me — in this city, this house, this program. I’m truly beyond grateful for Hope is Alive and our amazing supporters.” —James Ashby

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“The thing I’m most grateful for is how HIA has helped me get closer to God. Unlike other programs, they helped me open a Bible instead of throwing it at me. Thank you, HIA!” —Mike Summers

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"This year, I’m most thankful for my newfound relationship with God. I’m also thankful for being able to come to HIA, which has given my family restoration and allowed me to now be able to see my kids again." —Jacob Bridges

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“I’m so thankful for the opportunity to see my children on Thanksgiving this year. I’m also grateful for HIA helping me become the mother my children deserve and the wife my husband deserves!” —Jessie Silver

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“This year, I'm most thankful for God's grace and HIA. I’m grateful for reconnecting with my family and all of my brothers in this program!” —James Wylie

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“This year, I’m most thankful for my brothers here at HIA and for the amazing community filled with loving supporters who continually love on us and help lift us up.” —William Watashe

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“This Thanksgiving is different. This is different because I’m able to understand more of what God’s blessings really can be. I’ve been able to mend personal and familial relationships as well as grow family within HIA. Recovery has made me feel more joy for the holidays and a more prosperous future.” —Jimmy Crable

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“Since coming to Hope is Alive, I have found a career, restored my relationship with my family, and become a member of my church. I have grown closer to Jesus than I could have ever imagined. I’m thankful for the amazing opportunities to become the man I have always wanted to be through Christ and this program.” —Mike Boris

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“December 5th will be 6 months here at HIA, and it's the best thing that has happened to me in 49 years. This is my first sober living house, and I’m so grateful it is Christ-centered because that's what I needed in my life. To the Lang family, to my PM, and to my sponsor, I’m grateful. I love every one of my brothers here. Before every transformation, there is darkness, and I definitely went from the darkness to the light. Thanks be to the Lord and HIA!” —Dwayne Summers

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“This year, I have more to be thankful for than ever before. First, I'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus — the One who's given me a joy I can't even fully explain. He's carried me, changed me, and given me hope again. I'm also grateful for the men and women at HIA who are truly sold out and who continue to support me on this journey. Their love and encouragement mean more than they know. I'm thankful that I get to be a dad again — sober, present, and becoming the man my child deserves. That alone is one of the biggest blessings in my life. And lastly, I'm thankful simply to be alive... to have a clear mind, a healthy body, and a future I can actually look forward to. Thank you, Jesus. And thank you, HIA, for believing in me.” —Harrison Moore

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“I’m grateful for so many things this year: the grace of my leaders, the fellowship in the community around me, being able to have all my debt paid off, new job opportunities, and a continuously growing relationship with Jesus Christ.” —Mason Amelunke

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“I’m grateful for HIA! I’m grateful for my family and being sober and all the men in the house and the community.” —Levi Mann

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“I’m grateful for the peace and joy God has granted me during this time in recovery. I’m grateful that I have a happy and healthy relationship with my family.” —Garret Daniel

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“I’m grateful for all my kids being back together, being a father and not just a dad, and my business growing and being successful by the grace of God.” —Brandon Stevens 

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“I’m extremely grateful for my sobriety, for the friends I have in my life today, and for the relationship I have with my higher power.” —Ethan Winfield

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“I’m grateful that Jesus found me and saved me from the darkness I was living in. He is the cornerstone of my recovery and the foundation I’m building a new life on. Through Him, I’m a new creation and my heart is full of gratitude.” —Lauren Mullins

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“I’m thankful first to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, my source of hope and strength. I’m grateful for my husband, my family, and the true friends who loved me through everything. And I’m thankful for HIA — more than a program, it’s a family that loves, laughs, and grows with me. Even while I’m apart from my biological family, God is in control, and hope is alive.” —Kerri Toups

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“I’m thankful for my family, my sobriety, and my new life in Christ!” —Victor Garcia

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“I’m beyond grateful for the work God has done in my and my family’s lives!” —Aaron Spain

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“I’m grateful for getting to see my son weekly, when months ago, he didn’t even recognize me.” —Michael Page

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“I’m thankful for my sobriety, a relationship with Christ, and Hope is Alive for helping me radically change my life.” —Patrick Mahr

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“I’m grateful for the brothers in the home plus all the support and love we receive from our supporters.” —Chase Anderson

REDEEM: A Journey of Healing Through Divorce and Addiction

What happens when the life you prayed for shatters?

This four-day devotional is for women walking through the heartbreak of separation or divorce from a spouse who battles addiction. With the word Redeem as a lifeline, you’ll be reminded that God is still at work. He’s restoring your identity, your peace, and your future. He’s not just healing you. He’s redeeming you.

Start the plan here: REDEEM: A Journey of Healing Through Divorce and Addiction

In this episode of the Finding Hope Podcast, host Amy LaRue sits down with Officer Mark Woodward from the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics. Mark shares his expertise on the latest drug trends and gives insight into the work he does to combat substance use in our communities.

But this conversation goes beyond the statistics of drug use. Mark opens up about what personally brought him to Finding Hope and why he is passionate about supporting families affected by addiction.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone wanting to better understand the truth about drug trends and the steps you can take now if your loved one is struggling with substances.

You are NOT alone. It's NOT your fault. There is HOPE!

For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Thriving the Holidays: Practical Hope for Families of Addicts

Holidays can be very triggering and difficult when we love someone in addiction. The season brings a mix of feelings and stress, and we can often lose the joy and excitement the holidays should bring. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Amy LaRue of Finding Hope lays out practical, scriptural ways not just to survive the holidays but THRIVE in this five-day Bible reading plan.

Start the plan here: Thriving the Holidays: Practical Hope for Families of Addicts

HIA’s School Support Team Delivers Two Weeks of Impact

Over the past two weeks, the Hope is Alive School Support Team has poured into campuses across Oklahoma with a focused mission: to educate, inspire, and activate school communities to stop the cycle of addiction and cultivate hope-filled futures.

By equipping young people with practical, science-backed, faith-informed tools for mental and emotional resilience, they are doing just that. Through assemblies, classroom sessions, small-group conversations, and even lunch-hour hangouts, our team is creating spaces for honest dialogue that teach students how to better understand themselves, their emotions, and their worth.

And according to the feedback we received, this season of school outreach has been one of our most impactful yet!

Casady Christian School: Helping Students Understand Themselves

Our two-day visit to Casady Christian School gave us the chance to speak to grades 5th–12th in settings tailored specifically for each age group. 

With the younger students, we leaned into conversations about coping skills, peer pressure, leadership, and the day-to-day challenges that shape their emotional world. 

With the high schoolers, we transitioned into a deeper dive into the neuroscience of substance use. Students learned how the developing brain interacts with substances, why genetics matter, and how early decision-making can shape long-term health. The goal was to demystify the science, helping students understand the “why” behind prevention and healthy choices.

Bishop McGuinness: The Reality of Social Media and Stress

At Bishop McGuinness Catholic High School, we took a deep dive into a topic that affects nearly every student every day: social media. 

We explored what actually happens in the brain when students spend time online, how digital habits shape emotions, and why unhealthy coping patterns form so quickly. To back everything up, we reviewed up-to-date data about teen social media patterns and offered insight about how to create a healthier relationship with digital spaces.

Mount St. Mary’s: From the Auditorium to the Lunch Table

Next, we brought these important conversations to Mount St. Mary’s, where we hosted both an assembly and a lunch hangout. Over pizza, students opened up about the lies we tell ourselves and learned how to replace those lies with truths that build confidence and self-worth. 

Trinity at Edgemere: Building Calm and Confidence

At Trinity at Edgemere, we continued our mission of equipping students with practical tools by leading a session on coping strategies and resilience. Students participated in guided imagery exercises and learned the “name it to tame it” technique — an approachable way to help calm the parasympathetic nervous system and manage stress effectively. 

These strategies gave students tangible ways to recognize what they feel, regulate their emotions, and approach challenges with greater clarity and confidence.

One of the key takeaways was that stress is real, and everyone (even Jesus) experiences stress. Unhealthy ways of dealing with stress can lead down dark paths, but there are healthy ways to deal with stress. 

Powerful Testimonies From HIA Alumni

We were especially honored to have guest speakers Devin Scarbrough and Trevor Mathis, HIA Alumni, share at chapels and assemblies last week. Their powerful messages about enduring trials, recognizing value, and understanding self-worth deeply resonated with students across all campuses.

Notably, students and staff resonated with Trevor’s emphasis that our value, worth, meaning, and purpose come from Christ, and that no other source can provide a truly sustainable foundation for them.

Watch part of one of Devin’s talks below!

School Support Team Praise

“They were very professional! The speaker was very genuine, and you could tell her goal was to hopefully HELP someone else with what she knows as TRUTH!!!!” —Rejoice Christian School

“They connected with the students, explained things on the students' level, and made it relevant to them.” —Edmond Memorial High School.

“They provided meaningful content and had a very hospitable, welcoming spirit.” —Mount St. Mary Catholic High School

“I am so thankful this ministry exists in my community.” —Rejoice Christian School

Thriving the Holidays: Setting Boundaries

Even on special days like Thanksgiving or Christmas,  we must continue to have firm and intact boundaries with our loved ones. Do not loosen them for even just one day.

Boundaries are to protect yourself, to bring peace back to your life, and to allow your needs to become a priority for your life. Just like how you communicate your expectations, remember to also communicate your boundaries with others prior to the holidays. There is no need to defend, debate, or explain your feelings. If you are faced with resistance, simply repeat your boundary.

If we want our boundaries respected, we must also remember to respect the boundaries of others. Our loved ones in addiction recovery may have boundaries to protect their sobriety, and it is not our job to question their boundaries. Other family members may have boundaries about not wanting to be around their loved one who is addicted to drugs or alcohol (whether sober or not). Once again, we should honor their boundaries and not debate it with them.

This year, the holidays may look and feel different. And that’s okay! Accepting this can help us let go of certain traditions and view it as an opportunity to begin new ones. What is one new tradition you can begin this year?

This week, think about what boundaries you have in place for the holidays. What happens if those boundaries are crossed? Have you communicated your boundaries and the consequences of crossing them?

Here are a few tips from those in recovery for families to know as they approach the holidays being clean and sober (whether a few months, a year, or more):

• Communicate with your loved one. Ask them about their boundaries and possible triggers. “What are ways I can help you make sure you feel safe and confident in your recovery?”
• Respect their boundaries, even if you don’t understand them. They have them for a reason. Don’t argue with or question them about it.

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

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With hope,

Amy LaRue, Director of Family Support Groups

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today