Articles by Hope Is Alive

It’s Not Your Fault: A Message to Parents of Addicted Loved Ones

Finding Hope Team

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November 14, 2025

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min read

Recovery for Loved Ones of Addicts

Recovery for Loved Ones of Addicts

“I’m not the one drinking or ruining our family. Why do I need recovery?” ‍

That was my first reaction when I discovered my husband’s addiction. The idea of sacrificing my time and searching for childcare felt unfair and overwhelming. Over time, it took its toll on me and I realized that I needed help. I realized that recovery isn’t just for those who struggle with substances. Recovery is for the family of the addict, too.

Recovery means a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. Throughout the time of my husband’s active addiction, and even as he began to seek recovery, my state of health had deteriorated, and I needed to do something to change it. Did you catch that? I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING — whether my husband was sober or not, or regardless of how he was doing in his recovery, I had to choose to work on myself and seek my own recovery and healing. I had to stop saying “no” to myself and start saying “yes.” I had to make changes.

My recovery started the moment I picked up the phone and scheduled my first counseling appointment. After just one appointment, I recognized my need for community with others. So, I stepped into my first Finding Hope meeting in the summer of 2015. That’s when I started to learn about codependency, enabling, boundaries, and what true self-care looked like. I began to work on myself and the journey of returning to a normal state of health, mind, and strength in July of 2015, and that journey continues today.

What is holding you back from your own recovery? What excuses are you giving yourself? Are you ready to return to a normal state of health, mind, and strength? You can start today — or maybe you can restart today. Recovery helps us regain balance, happiness, and strength while giving our loved ones the space to take responsibility for their own journey. Remember to give yourself grace and forgiveness through this process. You can do it.

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.” Jeremiah 33:6

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With hope,

Amy LaRue, Director of Finding Hope

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Living Thankful, Living Sober | Bible Reading Plan

Held Hostage by a Loved One’s Addiction

Finding Hope Podcast: The Serenity Prayer

Sacrifice After Sacrifice: The Story of Jade Jolly

Sacrifice After Sacrifice: The Story of Jade Jolly

At just 16 years old, Jade Jolly was four months pregnant and newly married. She and her young husband were determined to make life work, even though they were still kids themselves. But no matter how hard they tried, it wasn’t enough. They couldn’t pay their bills, buy groceries, or offer their little boy the life he deserved. Every day was a struggle just to stay afloat.

Pictured above is Jade with a military friend.

When her husband decided to join the military, it felt like the answer they’d been praying for. The military promised steady pay, health insurance, housing, and stability — everything their small family was missing.

But that door closed when a medical condition prevented him from enlisting. Jade, desperate to provide for her family, decided to open that door herself. “I was healthy, athletic, and determined,” she said. “If that’s what it took to give my family a chance, I was willing to do it.”

She enlisted in the United States Navy as a Corpsman, and for the first time, life seemed to be heading somewhere steady. But just two months into her first duty station in Jacksonville, North Carolina, everything unraveled. Her husband told her he didn’t want the life they’d built and left, taking everything, including their son, with him.

“In that moment, the weight of all my sacrifices hit me,” Jade remembered. “The very thing I joined the military to protect was suddenly gone.”

Destined for a Life of Struggle

Jade Jolly grew up in a home marked by addiction and instability. Her father was addicted to alcohol and drugs, and while her mother wasn’t what Jade would call an alcoholic, she did have addictive tendencies.

At the impressionable age of seven, Jade’s parents divorced. For many kids, this would be devastating. But for Jade, it wasn’t a shock. Her parents hadn’t shared a bed for as long as she could remember, and she’d only seen them kiss once in her life.

After the divorce, Jade lived with her mother, her sister, and her uncle. Her father faded in and out of her life for years.

“He’d show up for a little while and then disappear again,” Jade explained. “But even when he was around, he wasn’t really present.”

By the time Jade was a teenager, she could no longer deny the impact of her father’s absence as she started looking for attention and validation in all the wrong places.

“I wanted to feel loved,” she said. “I think I was chasing the kind of love I didn’t get from my dad.”

During her freshman year of high school, she started dating a junior. “He was very controlling, very pushy — like teenage boys can be sometimes. I didn’t think anything about it at first,” she said. “Then one day, he took advantage of me behind the pole vault pit at school. That’s what I refer to as my black hole moment. That’s when everything changed. That’s when my view of the world was challenged.”

Not long after, Jade’s best friend started dating the same boy, knowing what he had done. In a matter of weeks, Jade not only lost her virtue and trust in others but also her closest friendship. As a result, the bright, popular, athletic girl she once was disappeared.

In her place emerged someone she barely recognized. Jade cut her hair short, dyed it black, and immersed herself in the metal scene. She started smoking weed and, by 16, tried alcohol for the first time. That first night drinking ended in a blackout, as would every other night.

“I wasn’t an everyday drinker,” Jade shared. “I wasn’t your cookie-cutter alcoholic. But I always possessed alcoholic traits and tendencies.”

Those same traits and tendencies fueled Jade’s need for attention, validation, and stability. So when she met a boy who had it all together at 16, it was like he offered her the world.

The Future of a Teenage Mother and Bride

Growing up in a deeply religious home, Jade was taught that a family should look a certain way — marriage, children, and faith all in order. So when she found out she was pregnant, that belief paved the way for her future.

“Having a child out of wedlock wasn’t an option in my family,” she said. “My parents made it clear that getting married was what I was supposed to do.”

So, at 16 years old and four months pregnant, Jade got married.

“At the time, it didn’t feel strange,” she explained. “I wanted to get out of the house, and what 16-year-old girl doesn’t want her happily ever after?”

Her new husband had a car and was 18, employed, and, in Jade’s eyes, stable. To her, marrying him felt like stepping into adulthood.

But the reality of adulthood came fast.

At 17, Jade gave birth to her oldest son and assumed the role of a struggling teenage mother. She had already graduated a year and a half early because she knew she didn’t have the luxury of time.

“I had to grow up fast,” she said. “I was becoming a mom, and I had to take care of a kid.”

Her days quickly became a blur of work, school, and survival. She attended a self-paced high school that allowed her to keep working while finishing her diploma.

“I’d wake up at six, be at work at TJ Maxx by seven, get off at 11, go to school from 11:50 to about three, and then head straight to my second job at Kmart from five to 11 at night,” Jade said. “I was exhausted all the time.”

But even with her two part-time jobs and her husband’s full-time paycheck, there was still never enough to cover rent, bills, and groceries.

A New Plan for the Future

With bills piling up and no relief in sight, Jade and her husband were running out of options. Every paycheck seemed to disappear before it even hit their account, and the pressure of trying to provide for their young family was becoming unbearable.

When her husband decided to enlist in the military, it felt like the lifeline they’d been praying for. The promise of steady pay, housing, and health insurance sounded like the solution to all their problems.

But that dream was short-lived. During the enlistment process, her husband was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease, a condition that caused multiple cysts to grow inside his kidneys. The diagnosis disqualified him from military service.

“The military was our plan to get out,” Jade said. “So when he couldn’t go, I thought — well, I can. I was healthy and had always been athletic.”

Shortly after that conversation with her husband, Jade went to the recruiting station, completed MEPS, and was quickly accepted into the Navy as a Hospital Corpsman — a medic responsible for providing medical support to sailors and Marines. The position was demanding and highly respected, and it gave Jade a sense of purpose she hadn’t felt before.

In boot camp, Jade spent weeks training, making sure she could keep up with every physical demand her role would bring. She excelled and quickly rose to the role of Athletic Petty Officer, responsible for leading her division through physical training. When she graduated from boot camp and moved on to Corps school, Jade excelled once again.

When Corps school ended, Jade eagerly awaited her first set of orders. Her original assignment was supposed to take her to Guam.

“I was so excited,” Jade remembered. “I’d been told it was a family-friendly duty station, so I could bring my husband and our son with me. Then at the last minute, they told me the policy had changed, and that I wouldn’t be able to bring my family after all.”

Jade tried not to lose hope, and the Navy soon reassigned her.

“When I got my final orders, they said Jacksonville, North Carolina,” Jade recalled. “I remember looking at that piece of paper and thinking, What the heck?”

Still, she packed up everything and made the move across the country with her husband and son.

Pictured above is Jade with her son Eryk.

About two months into her first duty station, everything began to unravel. Her husband told her he didn’t like North Carolina, didn’t like the military life, and didn’t like her. He claimed he just wanted to go home.

“I remember thinking I did all of this for you. I joined the military so that we could get to a point where our family was taken care of and comfortable. But that didn’t matter to him.”

He had tried to leave before, even before Jade joined the military. It had never stuck. But this time, Jade was too tired to fight and let him go.

“He took everything when he left. He took the car, the dogs, my kid. He even took the TV. He took everything until it was just me all alone in a big, empty three-bedroom house.”

That’s when Jade started drinking.

Falling into Addiction

A few weeks after her husband left, Jade met Flynn — a fellow sailor who would become her best friend and, in many ways, her anchor through the chaos to come.

“She walked with me through everything,” Jade explained. “She got resentful sometimes — a lot of times — but she was the best friend I had, even if we spent most of our time together at parties. But that’s just what you did when you were in the military. It was part of the culture.”

Together, they slipped easily into the rhythm of military life. They worked long days, then partied away their nights with loud music and heavy drinking. Before long, Jade found herself slipping back into the same mindset she’d had in her early teen years, chasing attention and validation wherever she could find it.

“I was going through men like they were nothing. I either had a new boyfriend every week or several dates a week. Then I met Alex, and everything changed again.”

Alex had been released from prison six months prior to meeting Jade. He told her right away that he was a recovering meth addict, but that he’d been clean for two years and was doing well. Jade believed him, and within a month of meeting, they were in a serious relationship and living together.

Around the same time, Jade received orders to attend Field Medical Training Battalion (FMTB) — an advanced program where Navy Corpsmen train alongside Marines to learn the lifesaving combat and field medicine skills required for deployment.

Before reporting for training, Jade was granted a short break. She had two weeks of leave to rest and prepare for what was coming.

“I figured it would be out of my system before training started,” she said. “So I decided to smoke some weed.”

It had been years since Jade had used any kind of drug. Because of the Navy’s random drug testing, she had stayed completely clean since enlisting. But with a little time off and no immediate risk of being tested, she convinced herself it was harmless.

She smoked with Alex, thinking it would just be a one-time thing. Within days, one thing led to another, and weed turned into ecstasy, which turned into meth.

“I started out on the needle,” Jade said. “And honestly, it was probably the most fun I’d ever had. That weekend, trapped in a bedroom with him, I thought I was having the time of my life.”

It only got worse when Jade found out she wasn't going to get drug tested at FMTB. What started as weekend use became a daily routine.

By the time she reported for training, Jade was already deep in addiction. She was using meth every day while trying to meet the grueling physical demands of the program — eight-mile rucks, field exercises, combat drills, and long hours in the North Carolina heat.

Her behavior became erratic, and people started to notice. Jade could tell eyes were on her, so she began going to the medical wing with excuses. “I told them I had insomnia and was hallucinating,” she recalled. “They didn’t think it was drugs at first. They just thought I had mental issues.”

Then her body started to give out. During a two-mile hike, Jade collapsed and was pulled from training. She was reassigned to a separation platoon, a holding unit for recruits who were struggling or being evaluated for discharge. The move only made things worse.

Jade’s drug usage intensified to the point that she married Alex to be allowed to live off-base instead of in the barracks. That freedom gave her complete access to use however and whenever she wanted.

“I was using every single day,” Jade said. “Out all night, running and gunning, doing whatever I had to do to get more money to get more drugs. I lost so much weight, and I didn’t even look like myself anymore.”

It didn’t take long before Jade’s drastic change in behavior and appearance raised red flags, resulting in a drug test. After the truth about Jade’s drug use came out, everything began to unravel.

Around Christmas, Jade was arrested for the first time — a misdemeanor for shoplifting at Walmart. “I was stealing stuff for our nieces and nephews,” she said. “I got caught and went to jail. I remember calling my Master Chief from the holding cell and asking, ‘What do you want me to do?’”

He told her to stay home when she got out and bring him the paperwork, but it didn’t stop there. Not long after, she went back to jail again, this time spending two weeks behind bars. When she returned, the Navy placed her on restriction — a 60-day disciplinary order that confined her to base — and sent her to a 30-day rehab program.

The restriction meant her world shrank to a handful of buildings. Every day, she had to check in, get her paper signed by the duty officer, and prove she hadn’t left base. By the time her restriction ended, it was too late to undo the damage. The Navy had made its decision, and Jade was left to fend for herself.

After leaving the Navy, Jade spiraled into full-blown addiction. Meth led to fentanyl, and jail became a revolving door — 18 arrests, six felonies, 11 misdemeanors, and countless failures to appear in court.

Jade spent years caught in that cycle — running, hiding, and surviving one high and one arrest at a time. “I was constantly on the run,” she said. “I’d be out of my mind, in full-blown psychosis, running from things that weren’t even there. I’d hide in closets, under beds — anywhere I thought I’d be safe. I was terrified of going back to jail, but I couldn’t stop using, and that’s what kept happening.”

Then Alex was arrested with a $60,000 bond that Jade couldn’t pay. “There was no way I was getting him out,” she said. “And honestly, I was tired. Tired of running, tired of losing everything.”

Out of desperation, Jade called an old boyfriend who graciously agreed to help her get back on her feet. “He let me stay with him for a couple of months,” she said. “I got clean, started going to meetings, got a sponsor, and did all the things you’re supposed to do.”

But while Jade had stopped using drugs, she never stopped drinking. “I was still blacking out all the time,” she admitted. “I’d wake up in places I didn’t know, with people I didn’t know. My sponsor kept telling me to put the alcohol down, but I wouldn’t. I didn’t see it as part of the problem.”

Pictured above is Jade with her best friend Alexandra, who drove her back to Texas and gave her a place to stay.

When Jade finally saved enough money to bail Alex out, she relapsed the day he got out of jail. For six more months, the chaos continued. Then Alex was sent back to prison, and this time, something inside Jade broke. She called her best friend in Texas, who had told her many times before, “When you’re ready, I’ll come get you.”

“One day I finally called and said, ‘Come get me,’” Jade said. “And she said, ‘I’m on my way.’”

When she got back to Texas, Jade detoxed the hard way. “I withdrew on her couch, on the floor, in her car — wherever I was,” she said. “It was terrible, but eventually I came out the other side.”

Finally, Jade decided she needed to do something for herself. She knew she couldn’t keep living off her friends or her parents. It was time to grow up — to take responsibility and start over.

That’s when she heard about Hope is Alive. “I’d already been clean for about a month when I applied,” Jade said. “From the day I sent in my application to the day I moved in, it was only four days.”

A Life of Sobriety

On August 26, 2021, Jade arrived at the Hope is Alive house in Wichita, Kansas. She settled into the program quickly, focusing on healing, growing, and rebuilding her life. Then, about eight months in, the Hope is Alive team gave her the opportunity to interview for a position they thought she would be great at.

At the time, Jade already had a stable job working as a medical assistant at a pain management clinic. “It probably wasn't the best environment for a resident,” she joked, “but nothing bad ever happened. I was doing pretty well and making a decent salary. For where I was in life, that felt huge.”

She didn’t take the interview too seriously at first. “I really just wanted the interview practice,” she admitted. “I didn’t expect anything to come of it. But then they offered me the position, and I was shocked. I prayed about it for a few days, and then I accepted it.”

Shortly after, Jade moved to Oklahoma City to begin working for Hope is Alive. She stayed in Oklahoma City for about ten months before transferring to North Carolina — the same place she had once been stationed in the Navy, the same place where her addiction had begun.

“I have never seen God act so clearly as he did during that time. Every single courtroom I went into, the judge or DA said the same thing: ‘I’m not going to punish you for doing the right thing and getting help before we told you to.’”

Jade had charges in three different counties — six felonies, 11 misdemeanors, and one charge that carried a $226,000 bond. By all odds, she should have gone to prison. But she didn’t.

Throughout her first 18 months in the Hope is Alive program, Jade kept the same God goal: that He would plant kindness, understanding, and mercy in the hearts of the judges and district attorneys deciding her fate. And that’s exactly what He did.

Jade served no jail time for her crimes. Instead, she was sentenced to 18 months of probation.

When everything with her court cases was finally settled, Jade moved back to Oklahoma City. By then, she had more than two years of sobriety under her belt and a deep desire to keep growing. She returned to work with Hope is Alive, became a house manager, and continued to pour into other women walking through recovery.

In October 2024, Jade officially graduated from the Hope is Alive program.

Pictured above is Jade with her son Eryk and current boyfriend.

Today, Jade remains connected to both of her children. Her oldest son, Eryk, lives primarily with her first husband’s family, and her youngest, Jax, was adopted by his paternal grandparents after being placed in their care as an infant. Though the decision not to be their primary caretaker was one of the hardest she’s ever made, Jade knows it was the right one.

“I do still have contact with both of my kids,” Jade said. “I make a point to visit Eryk once a month and spend the weekend going out and doing fun stuff. This past summer, he stayed with me for two weeks, just the two of us. It was the first time he’d ever been with me on his own. With Jax, I text his ‘mom’ every week just to check in and ask how he’s doing, how school is going, or to see new pictures.”

When Jax was born and for most of Eryk’s childhood, Jade was in the thick of her addiction. Though she wanted to be the mother they deserved, she simply wasn’t in a place to care for them. Now, she’s focusing on rebuilding those relationships.

“I’m not trying to force anything,” she said. “Both of my boys are safe and loved, and that’s what matters most.”

Hope is Alive

Through her time at Hope is Alive, Jade didn’t just find sobriety — she found herself, her faith, and a divine purpose to lead others toward the same freedom. Now manning HIA's HopeLine, Jade helps countless people find hope.

The HopeLine is a lifeline for individuals in active addiction ready to begin their recovery journey. Callers are connected with someone who truly understands — someone like Jade who’s walked the same path and found lasting sobriety. Our coordinators guide callers to detox, treatment, or one of our recovery homes as appropriate.

“Even though I fell so far, there was a way back up,” Jade said. “God kept His promises to me, and He’ll keep them for you, too.”

Battling a Loved One's Addiction

HIA’s School Support Program Delivers "Future Me" Talk to Local Schools

HIA’s School Support Program Delivers "Future Me" Talk to Local Schools

Last week was a big one for our school support team, who spent two awesome days at Casady School before wrapping up the week with an unforgettable visit to Jones High School. Let’s just say, students and parents showed up ready to learn, share, and grow!

Casady School: Real Stories, Real Science, Real Hope

At Casady School, our school support team packed in back-to-back assemblies and an evening parents’ night that brought everyone together for honest conversations about teenage addiction.

To kick things off, Senior Development Manager Ann Sandager shared a powerful and deeply personal testimony that immediately captured the students’ attention. Growing up in Edmond, just a short distance from where many of them now live, Ann’s story felt especially relatable.

Ann spoke candidly about her battle with drugs and alcohol to hone in on the reality of teenage addiction. She explained that her addiction began at a young age and continued into her early adulthood, only coming to an end because of Hope is Alive. Ann emphasized that addiction can happen to anyone, and so can recovery.

After Ann’s testimony, our school support team transitioned into a presentation on the science of addiction. They walked students through how the brain develops and explained what happens when drugs or alcohol are introduced before it’s fully formed. By breaking down how substances impact the brain, body, and emotions, our team helped students see just how powerful — and dangerous — those early choices can be.

Students were surprised to learn just how quickly habits can form and how much damage can occur, even from “casual” drug and alcohol use. The presentation opened their eyes to the real, scientific consequences of addiction, building off the foundation of Ann’s personal experience.

But the conversation didn’t stop there. Students also learned how positive coping strategies — like talking about their feelings, connecting with trusted adults, and finding healthy outlets for stress — can make a real difference in avoiding substance use altogether.

By the end of the sessions, students had an entirely different perspective about recreational drug and alcohol use — and most importantly about addiction in its entirety.

That night, our team met with parents to keep the conversation going. Together, they explored the same neuroscience and talked about how to support their kids through all the ups and downs of adolescence. In that room, parents found a safe place to ask questions, share experiences, and encourage one another. By the end of the night, a real sense of community had formed.

Jones High School: Discussing the Dangers of Addiction and Overdose

On Thursday, our school support team visited Jones High School to talk with students about the dangers of addiction and overdose. Our team also touched briefly on brain development before turning things over to HIA Founder Lance Lang, who closed out the assembly with his high-energy “Future Me” talk.

During his talk, Lance challenged students to think about who they want to become and how the choices they make today shape that future. Watch part of his “Future Me” talk below.

Bringing Hope to the Next Generation

Hope is Alive’s School Support Program envisions a world where our youth are so empowered and secure that drugs and alcohol aren’t appealing! Our program is designed to dismantle harmful mindsets by educating on the signs, risks, and stigma of addiction and overdose. By providing tools and resources that reflect God’s love, instill purpose, and establish supportive school communities, we help students embrace their design, worth, and ability to make informed choices for a healthy lifestyle.

Our mission is to educate, inspire, and activate school communities to stop the cycle of addiction and cultivate hope-filled futures.

Embracing Nature’s Healing Power

Embracing Nature’s Healing Power

As I connect with others who have lost loved ones to addiction, I am continually struck by how much our loved ones shared in common. Nearly all of them possessed a profound and unique love for nature. Lexi, in particular, found deep joy in being immersed in God’s creation — from the majestic mountains of Colorado to the winding nature trails near our home in Wichita. She often spoke of her dream to help people in recovery, not in a sterile, lifeless room, but gathered together outdoors, beneath the shade of a tree, enveloped by the beauty and peace of nature.

Psalm 19:1–2 says, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.”

Recently, these verses struck me in a new way. Because sometimes I doubt.

Sometimes I doubt what I’m doing, why I’m living, and what my purpose is. If God is even real. Maybe I’m just going through the motions. Maybe death is just random, and my daughter is gone, and I am left with nothing but hurt from missing her and thinking about what could have been. Maybe this whole life is pointless.

And then I go on a walk.

How can there be so many different types of trees just around the small pond in my neighborhood? Pine trees with poky needles, willows with their long droopy branches, tall maples, sturdy oaks. Then I see the “Feathers” family — the big black and white duck with his troupe of followers — waddling to their favorite spot near the pond. I watch the wind ripple the water, and the shimmery reflection of the sky and clouds mirrored in its silvery surface. On the sidewalk in front of me, a swarm of tiny ants zigzags around the upturned shell of a dead cicada. Then I notice an unexpected burst of scarlet purple blooms on a nearby bush that I hadn’t seen before. “Day to day pours out speech.” All of nature sings out the stunning and creative handiwork of God. The scene that is before me, which I often take for granted, is so fascinating. Everything around me is instinctively growing, moving, living, and breathing, empowered by its Creator.

Romans 1:20 comes to mind. “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.”

Finding God in Nature

Sometimes God speaks to us through Scripture, but other times He speaks even more emphatically in the great outdoors. It’s like He’s saying, Look at me! Here I am all around you! How can you doubt my existence? Look at my incredible handiwork! I am speaking to you without words. Just open your eyes and feast on my artwork! Everything around us is designed with such careful detail — evidence of God’s existence and his loving care.

And the night brings even more evidence of God. Just look up at the night sky! Humans have not even scratched the surface when it comes to space exploration. As a matter of fact, the more we learn, the more we realize how little we know. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is composed of billions of stars, each millions of light-years away, but it is just a blip in the entire universe. The nearest neighboring galaxy, Andromeda, is 2,500,000 light-years away. Since one light year alone is six trillion miles, that’s a pretty long way! And the universe is filled with billions of these galaxies, all made up of millions and billions of stars.

When the psalmist says, “...night to night reveals knowledge,” he is making the understatement of the century! It is truly impossible to begin to fathom the depth of the knowledge he refers to. It is unthinkable, unimaginable.

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With hope,

Rhonda Kemp, Laci’s Mom

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Do Fear and Dishonesty Interconnect?

Do Fear and Dishonesty Interconnect?

How many times have you said “I’m fine” when asked how you are? I’ve been trying to find a new answer to that question since losing my daughter, Lacy, 11 years ago. I feel like a liar when giving the most common answer: “I’m fine.” Now, I want to be honest.

The truth is, I haven’t truly been fine on many of those days. When I counted, I realized there are more than 4,000 of them. It makes me wonder: Over all that time, how often have I hidden how I really felt just to make others more comfortable?

Thanks to God, I am now more comfortable saying, “I am doing the best that I can.”

It’s not a big deal, right? Just a little more honesty. But let me tell you, honesty has led to more genuine conversations. I have seen firsthand that when we are more transparent with others, people feel that they have permission to be more transparent with us. I have had complete strangers look me in the eye and say something personal and relational just because I gave them a real answer.

I also used to struggle when people would ask me where my kids live and if they are close by. I now answer honestly with this statement: “My daughter is in Heaven and my sons live within three miles of me.”

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Ephesians 4:25

Honesty fosters trust and unity within the body of Christ. In other words, when you choose honesty, even when it’s hard, it brings favor on you. God is pleased with us when we are honest. I have found that, at times, being in a room full of grievers makes being honest difficult. Not all of us are ready for some truths about grief and loss. I never assume my truth is anyone else’s truth, but because of the community we are forming and because God’s word is our handbook, we continue to bring truth to the hurting.

I realized at our last moms’ retreat that some of the pain I still need to work through is forgiving myself for how numb I had become during the final years of Lacy’s addiction. I realized that I wasn’t honest with my feelings during that time. I couldn’t name my feelings. I was hiding from the truth. This can happen in the nightmare of addiction, and it can happen in grief. One of the exercises we use at our Mini Mom Retreats is writing down our feelings in percentages on a feelings chart. We do this at the beginning of the weekend and again when we leave. Honesty, through God’s word, overcomes fear.

What would the world look like if we could all be more honest with ourselves first and with others as well? Sharing truth can make us more vulnerable, more accountable, and more redeemed.

Ephesians 6:10–18 describes the FULL ARMOR OF GOD, the first of the six pieces being THE BELT OF TRUTH.

Let us all be more honest, as Jesus teaches in Matthew. ”Let your yes be yes and your no be no.”

Jesus’ call to honesty was not just about actions but also about the condition of the heart. Being honest in our words and actions is fundamental to following Christ, as we are called to live transparently before God and others.

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With hope,

Rhonda Kemp, Lacy's Mom

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

Celebrating Life the Sober Way: Homecoming Weekend 2025

A Mother’s Journey Through Grief and Addiction

A Mother’s Journey Through Grief and Addiction

God has transformed my thinking to “be in agreement with Me,” a phrase I heard so clearly the day I had to give my sweet girl back to Him.

My name is Rhonda Kemp. I lost my daughter, Lacy, at the age of 30 when she passed away from an opioid overdose. My world stopped. Now, it’s forever changed.

The day Lacy was born, she not only helped free me from a bad relationship, but being her mom gave me such a profound love in my heart, a love that I had never experienced before. When she was placed in my arms, I knew I would give her everything within my power to ensure her happiness and safety in this life.

My biggest fear was losing her, as is the biggest fear of many parents entrusted with the care of an amazing child from God. I always thought if I kept her around the right people, in good schools, loved her with all my heart, and kept her in church, then she would grow up with all the tools that she needed to navigate through this world. She was protected from seeing anyone use alcohol or drugs in our home, but after two knee surgeries at the age of 17, she was introduced to opioids.

Several years after those surgeries, she and a new set of friends began to party. That was when she began to abuse opioids. Her struggle with addiction began and lasted between seven and eight years.

After a very painful weekend trying to pass a large kidney stone, Lacy overused opioids along with a sleeping aid called Klonopin, and God called her home. Outside her apartment that same day, I heard God say to me, “Be in agreement with Me.” God spoke those words to me then, and I hold them in my heart and mind to move forward.

Lacy brought life and laughter to everyone she met, and she left us with so many unforgettable memories of how special she was. Although her absence from our family has been devastating, I am forever grateful that I was blessed to be her mom for 30 years.

Finding Hope After Loss

About four years ago, God introduced me to Hope is Alive Ministries. Through Hope is Alive, I have the opportunity to volunteer with residents in recovery, lead a Finding Hope support group for those who love someone in addiction, and lead a Hope After Loss grief support group for those who have lost someone to addiction. The support and love I have found in Hope After Loss has been life-altering. Through Hope After Loss, members always have someone to talk to and lean on through their grief journey.

I have a purpose now, and that is to be there for others, just as my daughter would have been if she had found a way to sobriety. God has taken my pain and used it for something good. His ways are always the best ways, as it says in Isaiah 55:8–9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

If you have not joined Hope After Loss, I encourage you to attend a meeting this month. By walking through grief together in the light of God’s Word, we can begin to find strength, purpose, peace, and HOPE in the midst of our circumstances.

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With hope,

Rhonda Kemp, Laci’s Mom

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today

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