Transformation After Losing Someone to Addiction

Transformation After Losing Someone to Addiction

I love the transformation from summer to fall. The changing colors of leaves on deciduous trees are so beautiful. Then to watch them “let go” and fall to the ground is such a beautiful example of a life cycle. It’s a season of harvest and cooler temperatures, with positive impacts on ecosystems and agriculture, as well as human activities.  

However, along with the change from summer to fall can come some unsettling emotions. Before winter comes, we’ll have family gatherings and two of the year’s major holidays — and that’s before adding the emptiness, loneliness, and heartbreak left behind by the absence of our loved ones.

Personal transformation is, at minimum, very difficult. It can involve changes in beliefs and behaviors, and result from life experiences, self-reflection, or intentional efforts to evolve. Transformation based on life experiences that involve our loved ones’ absence, in my opinion, is the most difficult.

Finding comfort and hope in times of this type of transformation and sorrow can be, at the least, very challenging. The following scripture speaks to the idea that, even in the midst of grief and sorrow, there is the promise of joy and comfort that can eventually transform those feelings. It reflects the notion that grief is temporary and that with time, one can find solace and renewal.

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

It took some time, but I came to believe life can be either a “burden and a chore” or a “challenge and a joy.” The choice is ours. Life can amount to more than a string of painful days. We must “let go” of the life we had planned so we can accept the one waiting for us. This type of transformation takes time, takes heart, takes faith, and when the light comes, as it always does, we must have the willingness to enjoy the flight.

Here are a few of the things I’ve learned since starting this transformation of living without Ben:

1. I am so blessed to have been chosen to be Ben’s mom.
2. Grief and recovery have no timeline, so be patient with yourself. The transformation is slow.
3. Grief and hope can co-exist.
4. Hope is my serenity. It can heal hearts and give courage.
5. God helped me through the most intolerable, unacceptable situation. He has shown me I will be okay. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, because it did, and it doesn’t mean it wasn’t sad, because it was very sad. But with His help, I will recover.
6. God is full of compassion and mercy.
7. My heart and soul will always be broken, but I believe Ben would not want me to carry the burden of his disease, choices, and mistakes.
8. Try to find joy in every day, no matter how small it might be. Learn to laugh out loud again and do so with no reservations.
9. Believe in “God Winks.” On rare occasions when something occurs that others may consider odd — for example, a familiar smell, a sound, an unexplainable light, a touch, a dream — consider yourself lucky and believe it’s your loved one.
10. Last but not least, God put things and people into place so I would be introduced to Hope After Loss just at the time I needed it most. I trust He will do the same for you.

So, as we go through this season of transformation, I’ll close with this verse:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

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With hope,

Tammy Posey, Ben’s Mom

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For more information, visit:

FindingHope.Today

HopeAfterLoss.Today