Support the vision at Hope Is Alive? Give a donation.
Learning to Laugh Again After Loss: Christian Grief Support
Hope After Loss Grief Support Groups
Written By
Hope After Loss Team
.jpg)
Learning to Laugh Again After Loss: Christian Grief Support
After Lexi passed away, I didn’t want to ever laugh again. There were times when I would catch myself smiling at something, and immediately I would stop and pull my heart back. It didn’t feel right to laugh. Laughing meant I was happy, which meant I was okay with my daughter not being here, and I would never be okay with that.
Then one day, my other two daughters and I were watching a movie, and a certain scene caught our attention. One of the characters was speaking in Arabic, and he said something that sounded like “Leo Budge,” the goofy nickname we had given our dog. It struck us as absolutely hilarious, and we all three burst out laughing. I don’t know how many times we rewound the movie to re-listen to it, but each time we laughed even harder, until our bellies ached and tears streamed down our faces. I know this may sound crazy, but to us it was insanely funny. And it felt so good to laugh.
I think that was the moment I started to realize that it might be okay to laugh again. I had let myself enjoy the moment, but my love for Lexi had not lessened. And that moment of laughter might even have helped my state of mind.
Proverbs 17:22 says that “a joyful heart is good medicine.” When processing grief, our bodies desperately need relief, and this is what laughter provides. It has been proven that laughing affects our bodies physically in a healthy way. According to the Mayo Clinic, the endorphins released in the brain when we laugh “stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation.” These endorphins are natural painkillers. They relieve stress from our system, which improves our overall long-term health.
Telling ourselves we should not feel joy is a lie from the enemy. He has come to “steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10) He knows that laughter helps us heal, and he wants us to remain in our misery — where we are no good to anyone — and remain separated from God.
The truth is, allowing yourself to laugh does not mean you didn’t care about your loved one. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite. It shows that you are taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to move through grief and experience the joy, healing, and peace that God can provide. Isn’t that what your loved one would want? I know Lexi would hate it if I chose to go around being glum all the time, never letting myself have fun again.
What can help you enjoy a laugh today? At our first Hope After Loss retreat, someone shared a clip of a comedian, and we found ourselves laughing together. There are so many good Christian comedians just a YouTube click away from brightening your spirit — Jim Gaffigan, John Crist, Tim Hawkins, Nate Bargatze, Chonda Pierce. Turn on a favorite funny movie or show. Seek out things that will make you smile. Christ came so that we may have life, and have it abundantly. Take some time today to stop and laugh!
With hope,
Kris Darrah, Lexi's Mom
For more information, visit:
Faith-based support groups for families of addicts and alcoholics.
