June 2024: Psalm 119

Lessons from Psalm 119 | Finding Healing After Loss

This chapter, the longest in the Bible and very informative, is the one I studied last month for my Bible Study.

I was unlike many of you after the loss of my son: I struggled with anger at God. Through almost nine years of this journey, I’ve spoken to many people who have felt God with them in their grief. I love hearing your stories of where He was with you.

Seven Attributes of God in Psalm 119

Psalm 119 highlights seven positive attributes of God:

• Righteousness
• Trustworthiness
• Truthfulness
• Faithfulness
• Unchangeableness
• Eternality
• Light

Humans are unable to change our hearts on our own; working alone, we can’t possibly fix our faults. I know this to be true.

For three years, I struggled with anger, depression, sadness, and darkness. I am not saying I wanted to follow Satan, but I did believe God didn’t love me as much as He loved others. If He had, then my son would have been healed from his addiction to heroin and wouldn’t have died.

“Open My Eyes”

In verse 18, the author of Psalm 119 says to God, “Open my eyes.”

Right after Jordan passed, I didn’t want my eyes open—I wanted to keep them shut. Looking back, I can understand that it was because I was in denial. I didn’t want to see the truth.

Verse 27 says, “Make me understand.” At that time, if I had truly understood what happened, I would have been forced to face the reality and begin healing from my loss.

“Enlarge My Heart”

Verse 32 says, “Enlarge my heart.”

For me, that meant acceptance. I felt like I had lost a piece of my heart when Jordan left this earth. In reality, we do lose a piece of ourselves when we lose someone we love. But with God walking beside us, we can heal from our loss and work to help others.

Choosing Trust in God

I now know that God is Righteous, Trustworthy, Truthful, Faithful, Unchangeable, Eternal, and that He is our Light. I can’t go back, but I am forever grateful to have learned these truths.

When I have a bad day, I pray and trust that God will continue to heal me.

Scripture That Brings Me Comfort

“I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.” — Psalm 119:10

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” — Psalm 119:18

— Cindy Bowling, Jordan’s mother