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Are You Addicted to Your Addict?
Finding Hope Family Support Groups
Written By
Finding Hope Team
Are You Addicted to Your Addict?
This is a tough question, but one that you need to really think about and answer honestly: Are you addicted to your addict?
What does that even mean? Initially, you may say, “No, that is a crazy question. How could I be addicted to my loved one?” But I want you to really stop and think about the following questions that might help you see more clearly if you are addicted to your addict.
- Are you excessively helping him/her?
- Are you neglecting your own needs? Do you even know what you need?
- Are you taking on their problems as your own to fix?
- Do you want their sobriety more than they want it?
- Are you trying to control the situation?
- Are you obsessively focused on their addiction and how to get them sober?
- Are you using up all your energy and time focusing on them and searching for the perfect cure?
- Are you shoving down your feelings and thinking they don’t matter?
- Are you always giving, giving, giving?
- Do you have a hard time saying “no” to others?
If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, you are most likely addicted to your loved one. You are also stuck in the cycle of codependency. I have been there too. We become addicted to trying to fix him/her. We become addicted to controlling the situation with our threats and manipulation strategies. We become addicted to searching the internet for the best therapists, treatment centers, and cures to the point that we neglect our own needs.
Stepping out of the cycle of codependency can feel scary, uncomfortable, and unnatural, BUT it is the best thing for you and for your loved one. Remember, nothing will change if nothing changes… Maybe that change needs to be taking that first step out of the cycle of codependency.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
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