My Greatest Pain Became My Greatest Purpose | A Hope Is Alive Impact Story

My Greatest Pain Became My Greatest Purpose | A Hope Is Alive Impact Story

Introduction

My name is Brie and I am a recovering alcoholic. Today I am blessed to work for a ministry where I get to share the gospel with people while also leading them out of the bondage of addiction.

However, there was a time when I was the one who needed rescuing. I was desperate for help but looking in all the wrong places. Let me share a quick story of what it was like, what happened, and where I am now.

A Painful Childhood

I grew up in a home that was extremely dysfunctional. I never knew my mom and dad as a couple. They split when I was a baby. My dad worked a lot and battled his own struggles, and my mom was an addict.

I was passed around to whoever could take care of me at the time, so I never felt like I belonged or had a real home.

When I was in middle school, my dad passed away. Around the same time, my stepdad was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer. During my freshman year of high school, he passed away too.

Early Addiction

Once I lost my dad, I started dabbling in anything that numbed the pain—weed, boys, self-harm, and rage. By the time I lost my stepdad, I dove even deeper into those unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I started experimenting with pills and cocaine. I left home at 14 and moved in with my boyfriend. I played varsity sports and even graduated high school early, all while maintaining my addiction.

Spiraling Further

Things only got worse. I went to college, but when my granddad got sick, I moved back home. My relationship had turned abusive, and I was struggling with an eating disorder on top of everything else.

I walked through my grandpa’s last six weeks with him before cancer took him quickly and brutally. After his passing, I spiraled into even harder drugs—fentanyl, Xanax, meth, really anything and everything.

Consequences

I went through five years of hardcore opiate addiction before getting into serious trouble with the law. Once it started unraveling, it went fast.

I moved back in with my mom, who was also in full-blown addiction. Our relationship became toxic and codependent. I was arrested multiple times for trafficking narcotics, larceny, grand theft auto, and selling drugs.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I was so defeated and desperate, ready to end my life in any way I could. That’s when God stepped in and did for me what I could not do for myself.

A Turning Point

God placed me in jail with no way out. From there, I went to sober living and started praying and searching for a God of my understanding. That’s when I found Jesus.

I got baptized, stepped into leadership, and began helping other women who were starting their own recovery journeys. I moved halfway across the country and started working for Hope is Alive.

Heartbreak and Healing

Then tragedy struck again. My mom passed away from her addiction. My worst nightmare came true, and I was angry, grieving, confused, and lost.

I went back to the basics—finding a home group, a sponsor, a church, a therapist, and a community. I took it one minute at a time.

Eventually, after lots of prayer, healing, and support, I forgave my mom and forgave myself. I stayed sober and healed from something I never thought I would survive.

A New Perspective

Why am I telling you this? For a couple of reasons.

First, no matter what you have walked through or are going through, there is another way—a better way.

Second, on the days I didn’t want to keep going, I remembered my mom. The person I once resented became my why and my passion.

I realized that my mom loved me deeply. She was just trying to navigate life for the first time and got lost in her own vices. Today, I know she was my biggest fan and loved me more than anything in the world.

Purpose Restored

I miss her dearly, but she is the fire in my heart and the spark in my eye for why I keep going every day. People need to be free. People need help. And there are kids out there who need their parents back.

I don’t want to stop until that is complete.

Today, I work for a ministry. I help other recovering addicts. I am married to a wonderful man. I have family restoration, no more legal troubles, a car, and a beautiful relationship with God.

My greatest pain became my greatest purpose.

So thank you, Momma, and thank you, Jesus, for turning me around and placing this calling on my life.