How Can I Help Someone with Addiction?
If you are trying to help someone with addiction, chances are you feel tired, confused, and devastated. You want to save them. You want to do anything to bring them back to the person they used to be. I understand that feeling completely, because I used to be the one everyone was trying to save.
My loved ones would do anything for me. Out of fear and desperation, they gave in to my wants. They thought if they could just keep me happy, I wouldn't want to drink. They thought that if they showed me enough care and comfort, I would find a reason to want change. But what they didn’t realize at the time was that their love, though pure, was allowing me to stay addicted. I was protected from consequences, shielded from the truth, and quickly getting more and more sick.
They were terrified. They thought that if they backed away, I would die. What they didn't know was that by holding on too tightly, they were helping me avoid the very pain I needed to feel in order to change. I had to hit a place where I finally saw that no one could rescue me. I had to
want freedom for myself.
It was not until they started setting boundaries and loving me from a distance that my eyes began to open. They stopped making excuses for me. They stopped bailing me out. And they did it with tears in their eyes and love still in their hearts. That kind of love takes more strength than enabling ever could. That was when I began to understand that the only person who could change my life was me.
Helping someone with addiction requires courage and strategy. It takes a willingness to let them face their reality. It means loving them enough to allow discomfort. Sometimes it even means stepping back altogether. And that is not giving up. That is giving them the power to decide. While helping someone else, please don't forget about yourself. Loving someone in addiction is painful. It can feel like you're barely holding on while trying to keep someone else above water. You need support. You need healing. Whether it's through counseling, a support group, or a trusted friend, take care of your own heart in the process.
Above all, hold onto hope. I am proof that recovery is possible. I am proof that God can take a broken, addicted, hopeless person and breathe life back into them. It was not easy. It certainly wasn't quick. But it was all worth it.
If you are wondering how to help someone with addiction, the answer is not found in rescuing them. It is found in loving them with honesty, boundaries, and with faith that they can rise. You cannot do it for them, but you can pray. You can believe. You can hope. This is where change
begins.
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