Finding My Way Back | A Hope Is Alive Impact Story

Finding My Way Back | A Hope Is Alive Impact Story

Hello, my name is Lindsay Cutbirth, an employee of the ministry Hope Is Alive and an alumna of the program. I began my journey of living in my calling a few years ago, and it has blessed my life tremendously.

The “why” behind what I do each and every day is being a mom who lost her way and became a person I did not recognize.

A Later Start to Addiction

My story may look a little different since I didn’t begin struggling with addiction until my mid-thirties. After back-to-back surgeries, I became addicted to opiates for eight years.

At that time, I had been married for 21 years, was a military wife for 15 years, and had two amazing children. We looked like an all-American family—until we no longer did.

My ex-husband began using after he retired, and with our codependent relationship, it became the perfect storm. Verbal and physical abuse entered my life, leaving me shattered and broken.

We began living out of hotels as a family. Eventually, my parents witnessed enough destruction and took me to court to gain custody of my daughter. The toxic life continued, and I turned to fentanyl and meth.

Spiraling Out of Control

My world kept unraveling. Everything I cherished had been taken, and I spiraled further into addiction.

I knew who God was, being raised as a Southern Baptist pastor’s granddaughter. But I was running from God—and from myself.

My family fought and prayed for me daily while also setting solid boundaries. Ultimately, I had to be the one to make the decision to surrender it all to God. I wasn’t sure it would work, but it was better than where I was standing at the time.

Rebuilding Through Recovery

I came close to losing my life due to health complications from addiction. After thirty-seven days of rehab, I found a new way of living my life at Hope Is Alive.

When I walked through the doors, I was broken and a shell of a person. I lived in fear of the unknown and of the future. Where would I start? How would I begin to heal?

It was a slow learning experience. I began to trust those around me and to open up—putting one foot in front of the other. At 41 years old, I was starting a new life.

My parents had adopted my daughter, and I was not allowed contact. My son was an adult and wanted nothing to do with me after the years of pain my addiction had caused. My words held no value anymore. That’s when I told my family, “Just watch me!”

It took determination and hard work every single day. I had to lay down pain and learn to forgive—not only others but also myself.

A New Calling

As I worked through my program, I accepted an internship with the very organization that had radically changed my life. In that moment, I knew God was calling me to something greater than I had ever imagined.

Blessings began to come, including the restoration of my relationship with my children. Over time, they began to trust me again and believe in what I said.

Living Out My Why

Today, I wake up every morning grateful that I get to be an example to other moms. The reason I keep fighting is because I have their backs with every challenge placed in front of them.

They want to be the moms they’ve always dreamed of being, and I want them to know it’s possible. There is nothing like seeing the light and pride shine out of them when they reconnect with their children—or hold their child for the first time in years.

That is sacrificial love, just as Jesus had for us.

I now get to witness families being brought back together and women living out the truth that Jesus is always the answer.