Valentine's Day falls right in the middle of the month and when most of us think about that day, we tend to think about flowers, chocolates, candy, cards or special dinners. As a young mother I would focus on my children being my valentines. I loved surprising them on that special day with candy, a card, and maybe a stuffed animal or Hot Wheels cars. Then at night we would make their favorite dinner and watch a movie or play a board game. I wanted them to feel special and loved.
Even though we feel such great grief over losing someone to addiction, suicide, or murder, the love we have for them never goes away. We feel a hole in our heart they once occupied. Since losing Jordan, I have learned we grieve so hard because we loved so hard. I was so angry at God after losing Jordan, like He didn’t love me or He wouldn’t have taken my son. It took me many years to realize God didn’t take Jordan—He saved him. Now I focus all my love on what Jordan did for me and others.
A friend of Jordan’s reached out to me through my sister today. She had just recently moved into a new home and was going through boxes; she happened upon Jordan’s CD case with all his favorite music. She said Jordan was so helpful to her when she was going through a difficult time in her life and she wanted me to know that piece of him and give back his belongings. I may not be able to touch him or hear his sweet voice, but I feel his love through God’s grace.
It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 4:17-18: “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”
In closing, God's word shows us that we don’t grieve without purpose and His presence is all around us. I encourage you to dive into the love you have for your loved one that has left us too soon and share your memories with each other. God bless you.
Cindy Bowling
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