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Helping a Loved One Trapped in Addiction
Finding Hope Family Support Groups
Written By
Finding Hope Team
Helping a Loved One Trapped in Addiction
“I am helping my loved one by not helping them.” I want you to stop and think about this sentence and what it means.
What does it mean to help them by not helping them?
Many times, when we think we are helping our loved one, we are really enabling them. We enable them when we do things for them that they should be able to do on their own if they were not using drugs or alcohol. We also enable when we don’t allow them to feel the consequences of their behaviors. By enabling, we are their cushion. We are making it easier for them to stay in their addiction and not feel the destruction of their addiction.
So, how can we really help our loved ones?
- We can help them by saying “No.”
- We can help them by setting firm and intact boundaries.
- We can help them by detaching from the chaos of their addiction.
- We can help them by believing their mess is not our mess to clean up.
- We can help them by giving them fully to God.
- We can help them by trusting and having faith in God.
- We can help them by being their biggest prayer warriors.
- We can help them by investing in ourselves.
- We can help them by attending Finding Hope meetings.
- We can help them by reaching out to other Finding Hope members.
Before you help your loved one again, ask yourself: Should they be able to do this on their own if they weren’t using drugs or alcohol? Am I picking up the pieces for them? Am I covering up their behavior? If the answer is yes, then you need to stop, pray for them, and repeat this sentence: “I am helping my loved one by not helping them.”
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
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